339 days

339 days until 2012 Ironman Louisville. It took me 10 days to change my mind. So, I am a hypocrite and a masochist so sue me!

The day after the Ironman we headed down to the expo so John could get his finishers s*** and I could cancel my pictures (again). Maybe I will learn my lesson next year but they lure you in with the talk of longer lines the day after the race and being cheaper before the race. At least they give you a full refund so no harm done except for your ego. Next we waited in a huge line to gain entrance to the store (never experienced this at CDA or STG) and while we were waiting John started to try and convince me to do Louisville. He said he would train with me and not do it. That started the tears. John is not a grand gesture kind of guy, nor even a small gesture kind of guy so when he says something like that I know he means it and it's heartfelt. So, I said I would think about it. 

Well, I did nothing but think about it for the next 9 days. I brooded and shed a few more tears - more of frustration than anything else, and tried to figure out what to do next. I did not want to do anything reactionary….like almost signing up for the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon lottery just for the hell of it. I knew if I did that I would get in and have to literally "swim with the sharks". Glad I talked myself out of that one. It's on the bucket list but not today. I weighed my options, talked to a lot of people who's opinion I trust and decided I needed to get this monkey off my back. I needed to drop kick that son of a bitch and make sure he never came back. The GFA Koolaid was swirling towards Arizona 2012 but I was not interested. Coach Mike said the water was cold - he looks and swims like a polar bear and nothing bothers him so if it's cold to him, I am f****d. Plus, there is the issue of travel expenses. Flights, shipping bikes, hotel costs etc etc. I didn't want to spend a ton more money on something that could all go wrong again. It's a long day and no matter how well you are prepared, anything can happen.

I have no desire to do IM Florida even though it's close. Too great a chance of red flag swims and a boring 112 mile bike ride that no one - NO ONE - has ever set an IM record on. Why not? It's flat, they should have record speeds. I think everyone ends up bored to death! Besides, I like hills! 

So Louisville it is. It's close by. There is a river swim, some upstream but most down and no wetsuit. Prior to this summer that would have bothered me but I swam all summer including a 5K with no wetsuit. Bring it! The bike course is somewhat hilly but I am fine with that. The only problem is heat. I am going to have to embrace Mr Sun and log some miles in the middle and late parts of the day. OK, it will suck but it sucks anyway, so what's a little more suffering, right? The run I don't really care too much about. It will be what it will be. Just get me off that Mother F'g bike and I will be good. I am stronger than last year so I can only get stronger and faster for the following year. 

So, here I am….AGAIN….339 days to go. Let's do this thing!

Quick update - knees are all healed, did 18 trail miles this weekend. Looking forward to Stump Jump 50K in 9 days. Bike is back home, hanging in the garage until I get over the urge to run my car over it  a few times.

Pictures from IMWI - look how happy I am!

Finally - Things to share: A hilarious blog on a first ultra. The medals at the end are the best! - http://theoatmeal.com/blog/ultramarathon

Good article on balancing your life and Ironman - it's spot on -  http://coachtroyjacobson.blogspot.com/2011/09/iron-focus-5-important-tips-for-success.html

Ultra Season

So yesterday was a big bust. I was not sure if I should digest what happened and then write about it or just spew it all out like I usually do. I have been up since 5am this morning and while I let John sleep a little more I guess I will try to capture my thoughts and impressions about yesterday.

Race morning we were up at 4am. I was able to take a nap the previous afternoon and while we got in bed at 8:00, that nap made it hard to fall asleep even with some Advil PM on board. I read for an hour and then fell into a nice sleep. Around 1:30 I woke up and then started to stress and toss and turn. Finally got a little more sleep but was up and ready to go at 4:00. We made it downtown very quickly, got parking, pumped tires and dropped off all our bags. We convened with all the Get Fit crew in Dana's room and the company helped keep the butterflies at bay. Then it was time to head down to the swim. Wetsuits were donned and we got in the water.

John's plan was to swim ahead and head toward the inside of the buoys where there would be less traffic. The canon went off and I followed John. There was a little confusion and chaos in our area but I was able to concentrate on keeping John in sight and just kept on swimming. The butterflies never got a chance to get going while I worked to keep up with John and before I knew it I was almost at the first turn. I lost John at one point but saw him again around the second turn but then he was gone. But by then I was fine. Water was basically calm except for the churning of the swimmers around me and the buoys were getting ticked off one by one. I rounded the last turn for the first lap, checked my watch and my time was a little less than 50 minutes. No problem, I had plenty of time and felt good. The second lap was relatively uneventful, lots of jockeying for position and a little flurry when the "lappers" went by but overall very uneventful. My arms were starting to feel the lack of wetsuit time by the end of the last lap and my shoulders were screeching at me as I headed to shore. I got out of the water and the clock said 1:40. Perfect! Plenty of time to get the bike course done. I was elated!

I then got my wet suit off and headed up the parking deck spiral to transition. The run up the spiral was long and annoying but finally I was in the hotel and grabbed my bag of clothes. I worked to get my bike gear on and saw that Dana and Leslie were dressing too so that made me feel great. Said hello to Dana, got a hug and headed out to my bike. 

Down the parking deck spiral and out on the course. The first bit was slow with all the twists and turns on the bike path and through some parking lots but eventually we were out on the course we drove on Friday. I felt a little sluggish at first but eventually the legs started to warm up. Leslie was feeling sick and we leapfrogged our way through most of the first loop. I would have liked to have been moving a bit faster but I knew I was still doing great on time and things were going well. The hills were relentless but we trained on hills all summer and I felt pretty good. I kept it in the low gear and spun my way up those hills passing many along the way. Things started to take a turn for the worse around mile 25-30. I started to get a nagging pain on the inside of both knees. I had experienced this before on one leg and knew this would not get better. I tried different foot positions and nothing seemed to make the pain stop. Before long every pedal stroke was painful. The 3 big climbs were excruciating but I was still able to get up the hills and still was passing people as I did so. I started to panic because I did not know if I could keep this up for the rest of the race. I started to slow down even more  and spin more because every stroke was agony. Once I passed the 56 mile mark I never saw Leslie again. 

Side note on the cleats: When I first started ramping up to big distances on the bike I started to get a nagging pain in my left knee. It would never start until late in the ride. The guy who fit John's bike helped adjust my cleats and for the first time I was pain free. Since then I have kept them in the same position and when ever changing them out I magic marker the outline of the cleat to ensure they are exact. So, a couple of weeks we got our bikes checked out by the same guy and he changed my chain and replaced my worn cleats. I thought nothing of the change since I was confident he would have replaced them in the same exact position. Since I was in taper I only did a few short checkout rides and everything felt fine. On to race day.

On the second loop another issue presented itself. My side was cramping. I had never experienced this on the bike and tried to stop and stretch when it got really bad. It was then I realized I really had to pee. Well, no rest stops seemed imminent despite pedaling many miles looking for one. Finally, I found a good place to make a quick run in the woods. Around this time a sheriff car pulls up and he asks if I am OK and he also adds that I am the last bike out there so he had to keep an eye on me. I asked if the other bikers had been cutoff  and he said no they all just dropped out. The heat was a bit too much for some people yesterday. Although it was hot, it was nothing like we had experienced in Georgia this summer and I felt good except for my knees and needing to pee. According to the sheriff the next rest stop was 5 miles away and he suggested I use the woods if I really needed to go. Excellent idea! I took care of my business and then got on my way. At the next stop I pulled out my bike tool and decided to try and mess with my cleat. I WISH I had done this when it first started. The change gave me some relief in my left leg but the right was still a mess. I had a little more spring in my step and started the big rolling hill section of the course. I did OK but the climbs were still super painful. I kept moving but around mile 80 I realized I was not going to make the cutoff. I had the worst hill section ahead of me and even if I gained some speed in the final trek back to town the last hills would have done me in. It was time to bow out. 

I got back to the start of the race, changed clothes, relayed my day to Leslie and Peggy in T2 and saw them off for the run. 

Unlike IMCDA I was not crushed. I was annoyed and resigned. There are many things I would have done differently to prepare but all in all I think I was well prepared. I worked on my swim and got so much stronger and more confident in open water. I worked with a trainer to get stronger overall. I worked on my bike and did hill repeats, technical bike courses and even conquered the Gaps! My recent runs had gone well and I felt strong. I was much more prepared for this race than my first attempt in 2010. I was nervous but felt like I was ready. The hills were plentiful but I know under different conditions I could have handled them and still had plenty of time to make the run. My energy level was good and I felt strong except for the pain in my knees. I visualized the accomplishment and stayed positive. This is why there were no tears this time. I did everything I could except for taking the responsibility to ensure my cleats were good. I will never leave this to chance again. It is too critical. 

Despite being over my experience, it is incredibly hard to watch the rest of the race unfold and see everyone you trained with reap the rewards. One training partner had a worse day then mine and had to quit during the run. He stuck it out all day but stomach issues and blisters got the best of him. My heart aches for Harry because I know how he feels. This was his first Ironman and he was so ready on all counts. Strong swimmer, biker and runner. It was a no brainer. It goes to show that everything needs to fall into place on that one particular day and unfortunately, things that are beyond your control can ultimately do you in. It's a tough, tough thing and a bitter pill to swallow.

The question now is will I ever do this again? Right now the answer is NO. I spent so many hours training, stressing and preparing for this race. The money alone is depressing. I fought off sickness, risk of injury and felt the toll it takes on your marriage. This is not a small endeavor. It consumes your life and makes you an incredibly selfish person. Sure, I would love to hear Mike Reilly say those words to me on race day. My ironman still feels like a lesser accomplishment than the hoopla and experience of the corporate IRONMAN. It is still the same distance but it is just not the same experience.

I really don't think I am cut out for this distance. Despite all that has been accomplished the bike is still my nemesis. I struggle with it and I honestly hate it most days. I wish it was different and maybe if it wasn't so hard for me I would like it more. I just don't know the answer. What I do know is that I have a 50K in 3 weeks that I am not exactly prepared for. I have not been running any super long distances but the endurance is there. The ultimate goal is the Pine Mountain 40 miler in December so Stump Jump is just another training day. Pine Mtn will be my longest distance to date. So here's to Ultra season. Let's hit the trails!

The Final Countdown

So, this cheesy song from the 80's has been playing in my head this morning because it's The Final Countdown!

Yesterday we swam in Lake Monona. The water was a little cool but not bad with the wetsuit. Nice and calm in the mornings. It gets choppy in the afternoons but every morning so far has been calm as can be. The only other concern is the huge number of participants at this race. Much more than we saw at CDA and literally thousands more than Great Floridian. It's going to be an interesting swim. After the swim, we picked up our bikes and then the Get Fit crew piled in Harry's van. We were all wearing matching Iron Kids T-shirts and looking like a pack of weirdos! We drove the bike course and all it's hills. Nothing steep or crazy like we have been training on but constant turning and climbing. We are going to be mentally zapped when we get off those bikes. I hope the rest and training will carry me and I can get through 112 miles of that crap in enough time. 

The nerves are definitely jangling this morning. I got a good 9+ hrs of sleep last night which is great since I won't get much tonight. This morning we will ride our bikes to make sure everything is good, drop off gear bags and get in one more swim. Then it's time to eat, rest, hydrate and try not to freak out too much. I am trying hard to visualize a positive outcome and forget the problems of the past. Trying not to beat myself up too much over things I could have done differently. I will be putting it all out there Sunday morning and if all things go well I will be an Ironman again.

Reminiscing

Something non IM related: A local radio station was doing a weekend tribute to the 20 year anniversary of the release of Pearl Jam's "Ten". It made me feel really old but it also brought back a lot of memories. 

That time was the beginning of my continuing obsession with Soundgarden and Chris Cornell. John and I went to Atlanta CD (an actual music store!) and I was looking to pick up Soundgarden's Badmotorfinger. One of the great things about Atlanta CD was their used pile. I was looking through the pile and came across "Ten". I didn't know much about Pearl Jam except that they were mentioned in every single article I had ever read about Soundgarden and the grunge movement. So, what the hell? I picked it up. After a couple of listens I was shocked to find that someone actually bought the CD and returned it. It was a nearly perfect album of 10 incredible songs. Badmotorfinger didn't suck either and I wore those 2 CDs out. 

The 20 year anniversary also brought back memories of Lollapalooza 2 in 1992. The main stage lineup included Ice Cube, Ministry, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers as headliners. It was an awesome show. Eddie Vedder jumped off the back wall at Lakewood and was carried to the front of the stage by the crowd. That would absolutely never happen today! John mused that we don't have the energy for all day music festivals like Lollapalooza and Ozzfest anymore. To which I replied, "Yeah, we would rather run, swim, and bike all day than stand around and drink beer in the hot sun." What has become of us?

Number 658

Number 658 – that’s my IMWI number. It’s starting to get real and so I am starting to get real nervous. The other day I was watching the 2009 athlete video and when I saw the swim it made my stomach hurt. The bike ride down the parking ramp spiral didn’t calm my nerves much either. So many things to stress about!!

2009 Ironman Wisconsin

 I know I am more prepared than I was for IMCDA but I am still worried about all those cutoffs. Great Floridian had a very nice calm and less crowded swim and very generous cutoffs. This will be me and 2500 of my closest pals fighting it out in the water with an “in water” start! I wish I knew that before signing up. At CDA I waited on the beach until the crowd started the swim and felt pretty free and clear. If it wasn’t for the waves I would have been just fine. This time I have to position myself as far as possible from the crowd so I won’t get slammed when everyone leans over to start kicking and stroking and get caught up in the washing machine. Ugh! My stomach is hurting again just thinking about it. 

I always panic a little bit at the start of any swim but so far I have successfully been able to talk myself off the ledge and get back to swimming. This race will have the extra pressure of being the area where I failed before so I know I will be extra nervous. I am just hoping for relatively calm water and being able to stay away from the pack. As John always teases – “hope is not a plan”. I don’t know how I can train any better for waves than just trying to get stronger.

The big push for training finished the weekend before last with our crazy century in the Gaps. I am pleased to say I finished all 101 miles with around 8000 ft of climbing. Wolfpen is no joke!! The first loop went well and I felt really good but the second lap started to really wear on me, especially with the increasing temperatures. The nasty little climbs became even worse and I about lost it twice. My speed started dropping dramatically as my energy waned. I didn’t think I was going to make the Wolfpen climb again but after cooling off and re-fueling at the little store right before I was willing to give it a shot. Leslie and I kept each other company with our chatting and bitching all the way up and we did it!! We really didn’t think we were going to do it at the store but the Bad Ass Bitches got it done! We texted the boys not to come get us and we would meet them at the car (this was the backup plan if we didn’t make it up). We started down the backside of Wolfpen and then the rain started. It drizzled and then poured and then stung! We only had a few miles left but the rain made us ride faster and when we were half a mile from the car the sun was shining. The boys were clueless until they saw we looked like drowned rats. It was a great feeling to be done with that horrible ride and AI am no longer scared or intimidated by “the Gaps”. I just hope it will give me the strength to finish my 112 by 5:30 pm on 9/11/11.

Wolfpen, loop 1

Wolfpen x 2 - we made it!

With the century ride from hell behind us, John and I headed to Jamaica to celebrate our 20^th Anniversary. We spent 3.5 days at Sandals Whitehouse where we swam, rested and drank a lot! We got 2 almost 90 min ocean swims in before the drinking started, including some choppy water and wave training for me. The other vacationers must have thought I had lost my mind when the whitecaps started one afternoon and I headed out with my swim cap. Again, please no choppy water in Wisconsin!! I definitely felt stronger in the ocean currents than in the past but I can’t fight large waves for long and certainly not for 2.4 miles. Here is the beautiful water where we swam.

OK, so the trick now is not make myself and everyone else around me crazy for the next few weeks. Make sure my bike and gear are ready. Catch up on a few house chores and just rest, repair and relax. Yeah right!

Sick....and Tired

Wow! Over a month has passed since I last updated my blog so this might be a bit long.

Since then I have made up for that disastrous 5K swim by placing third in my age group at the Georgia Games Open Water 5K swim. Thanks to Phil Sustar for helping me HTFU and finish strong!! That gave me a big boost in my confidence for the swim leg but I still need to "just keep swimming". The week prior to that swim I was majorly sick with a fever and congestion and runny nose that had me down and out for a couple of days. This was a wake up call that I was pushing too hard or as they say in USAT coaching, I was "over reaching". There is a fine line between good over reaching that is needed to get stronger and build endurance and over reaching that quickly becomes over training. I think I started to cross that line. Two illnesses in two months is highly un-characteristic for me. Time to back off a little and GET MORE SLEEP. 

I have always struggled with sleep. My mind is too active and it takes a lot to wind down and get to that sleepy place. Mind you I can fall asleep on the couch about 5 minutes after John turns on Mythbusters - it has happened so often that it has become a household joke. Sorry Adam and Jamie but you make me sleepy! The hard part is getting in bed and trying to get 8 uninterrupted hours. Happens about, well, never. Betty (our sweet but seriously disturbed Doberman) often wakes me up during storms or just because she is lonely, who knows? She needs more exercise and with all the training we haven't been home much. I also have so much going on trying to fit training in around my ever fluctuating work schedule that I don't have time to get enough sleep. I have been trying really hard with to make it happen and I was pretty successful last week but this week has been a bust. I am seriously looking forward to my Saturday nap since I know tonight won't be much more than 6- 7 hrs if I am lucky.

So back to being sick, 4 days later I foolishly did the Chattanooga Olympic distance tri despite many protests. My reasoning was that I felt better, I had no race experience for this year, it was a relatively short distance and I could stop at any time. I actually did decently on the swim, better than expected on the hilly bike course and sucked ass on the run (but kept moving with a smile on my face). It was probably no different than many of my other races except is was hot as hell and I had a good excuse for poor performance.

Delirious or happy - hard to tell

Following Chattanooga I cut back a bit on my training schedule. I realized 2 spin classes a week at 6am were killing me. I also realized that spinning Thur morning, working with a trainer, then doing a stacked brick that night (9mile bike, 1 mile run and then repeat) was just plain stupid going into a long weekend of training. Done. Ok, so that freed up a little time and yes I got more sleep too. Then the emotional rollercoaster started.

Two weekends ago we had a 112 mile bike ride on the training plan. We plotted out a hilly, technical course and it was a long hot grueling day but I made it though without feeling too horrible at the end. I felt good about my effort but was still concerned about making the time cutoffs given my avg speed was not spectacular. I told myself it was a training ride on an open course and it was really hot so race day will be better. I then realized while this course was hilly it was only about 4500 ft of climbing. I found out from Coach Tony Myers from ATS that Wisconsin was closer to 7000 ft of climbing. "Uh oh! Not good. Not good at all. Who the hell got me into this? Doesn't anyone look at this stuff before they decide to get everyone to sign up. What in the hell was I thinking?!! " An example of some of the rants from that weekend. OK, time to HTFU and get serious. Hopefully, it's not too late to fix this! 

That week Coach Tony mentioned that his athletes were doing a ride in the gaps to help prepare for WI and told me I should come along. Well, that wasn't going to happen for 2 reasons. #1 - I am seriously SLOW and would never be able to hang with them. #2 - The Gaps scare the sh** out of me. Well, about 10 minutes later I got an email from John saying he thought we should do the 3 Gap ride to get in more hill climbing. F** me! 

So, a few of the IronKidz (Harry, Peggy, John and I ) piled into Bumblebee and headed to the Gaps! Stephen Carhart from ATS graciously joined us on our little adventure along with Kim and Tripp. Kim and Tripp aren't training for anything but were headed to Lanier to visit a friend that afternoon so this worked best with their plans for a weekend workout. Wow, did they choose wrong! 

The Skeenah Gap course has a large climb at the beginning, some rollers in the middle and another big climb at the end. I was very concerned when we immediately started climbing knowing we still had the monster climb ahead of us. We had been riding for a little while and Stephen said there was a really nice Overlook I should see so I took that opportunity to pull over and stop. When he asked if I was OK. I replied that I seriously needed a Gu if we haven't even made it to the big climb yet. He assured me were about 3/4 through the big climb at that point and then I relaxed. OK, I can handle this. This is not that bad! The downhill was a bit nerve wracking but much better than a ride I did at Cheaha last year. The road conditions were great and I felt good. Stephen was doing some Cirque du Soleil sh** on the way down. Standing up and taking his hands off the handlebars. Sheesh, what a show off! (just teasing!) I don;t think there will ever come a day that I feel THAT comfortable on a bike. Ok, so big climb done, time for some rollers and then one last climb and done. Well, my definition of rollers is completely different than Tony's. At mile 30 there is a nice little incline that goes by a church so you can pray to Jesus that you make it up the hill. There is another fun one around mile 37 and one more kicker around 40. The rest just were little climbs and possibly one small section I would call rollers. Tony will later tell me that is what I should be expecting at Wisconsin. Cue  the ranting and cursing.

Somewhere between mile 40 and 50 Peggy has a little blackout and decides to get the hell off the bike. She's a smart cookie that Peggy. Tripp had also been battling leg cramps and and had a flat tire earlier in the ride so I think he saw an opportunity to get off the hella-coaster and he stayed with Peggy. Luckily they found some nice A/C and water to wait until we could come back and rescue them. The rest of us forged up the final hill and made it back to Turner's Corners feeling pretty darn good about ourselves. Harry and Kim both said that was the hardest thing they had ever done. Personally, my IM in FL was harder. The hills, heat and wind just kicked my ass for 112 miles. I actually felt pretty good after this ride, especially with the bag of ice on my quads. Mind you at mile 50 I felt a bit cranky and hot but after I doused my head in water I was good to go. Now, 112 miles of that sh**, that's another story.

 Kim, Peggy and Harry earlier in the ride

 Peggy enjoying that A/C

Post ride elation and sense of accomplishment was dashed with Tony's comments about the WI rollers. Much map studying and cursing was done and I went as far as to put both maps on the same scale so we were comparing apples to apples. WI still looks easier than last weeks ride but it's over 112 miles and is not to be trifled with. Here are the comparisons:

Tha Gaps DID made me feel like I had been doing at least one thing right - Hartman Hill repeats! Here is the elevation chart for Hartman Rd. Peggy, Harry and I have been riding this hill over and over again this summer and we can tell our climbing has improved dramatically.

This weekend I have a 14 mile run on tap for today, 40 mile flat and fast ride tomorrow and Acworth Women's Sprint Tri followed by more open water swimming on Sunday. Feeling good about my training right now but that can change at any moment. I do really wish I had one extra month instead of only 37 freakin' days!! That bike course and cutoff time is scaring the crap out of me. I hoped this time around would be different but it seems I am going to be sweating those cut off times again. 

Until then there is training to do. Next weekend will be really fun. John has channeled Coach Tony's masochistic mind and has a 100 mile torture fest planned for next weekend. We are headed back to the Gaps. Can't. Wait. 

Plan for next weekend - 2 loops of this - as Peggy said "Better get a bigger boat"

You finally made it to the end of this saga so I just want to share some of my latest obsessions for passing the time while in the car and during long runs:

Jay Mohr's podcast - Mohr Stories - hilarious!
Tina Fey's audiobook - Bossypants
David Sedaris - Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk

All have caused me to laugh out loud while running

The Curse of the last Sunday in June

       The weekend started out good. I was hitting all my marks - spin class on Thur morning, stacked brick Thur night, 6 mile run Fri morning, 53 mile bike Sat morning and then the curse of the last Sunday in June struck. 

Today was the Ridges Resort 5K swim that I have had as a goal for myself when I first heard about it in 2009. Last year I couldn't do it since it was the same day as my Ironman. So, this years event would be the one year anniversary of my Ironman DNF on the swim course. Not really a good omen in retrospect.

Coeur D'Alene didn't even cross my mind this morning. I just thought about getting through the swim as best I could. After looking at the course by boat Saturday evening I began to realize how out in the open we would be throughout this swim. I started to wonder if I should just wear my sleeveless wetsuit just to ease my mind and make me feel more confident. Everyone seemed to think I would be way too hot and would hate wearing it after a while. There were only 2 out of 100+ people wearing wetsuits this morning so I went without and began my swim. 

I started off feeling a bit nervous since I did not get to warm up. I had to stop every couple of strokes and catch my breath so my heart would slow down and I could continue swimming. This went on for quite a while but finally I got into a rhythm. Around this same time George (another GFA tri person and exceptional swimmer) started to hang back and encourage some other swimmers. Our support kayak stayed with them and I continued to swim. All was going well until we turned into what they called the channel but was more like open lake to me. Lots of boats and ski jets zoomed around the periphery but the race crew kept them away from us for the most part. The only problem was that it created a little bit of chop out there and made the crossing harder than expected. Finally, I made it across to the first big buoy that looked like a giant candy corn. The entire time I could see one or two swimmers a ways ahead of me but there were no race boats anywhere in the vicinity. I continued swimming along but there was still a bit of chop so it was slow going. I started to hear some thunder and when I was close to a boat I asked if it really was thunder. They started pulling close and said yes it was thunder and there was some lightning. I asked if they were going to pull swimmers since the sky looked kind of black and that's when they threw my a life preserver and started putting down the swim ladder. I was felling pretty cold and there were no other swimmers in sight so I decided to get in the boat. My day was over.

     It wasn't until the car ride home that I realized it was the same Sunday in 2010 I had my bad swim in CDA. Today was different in that I chose to stop but I did feel I was not given clear info on what was going on. They did not pull any swimmers and told our kayaker that it was up to the swimmers to continue. I never asked for them to come get me. Just asked if there was thunder and a storm coming. In fact, there was no lightning and the skies cleared up pretty quickly afterwards. In the end though,  I am just mad at myself for giving up. I did get cold but I would have been fine had I kept going. I also should probably have just worn the damn wetsuit from the very beginning and then it wouldn't have been an issue. The cold became an excuse and there really was no reason for me to stop. I was tired but I could have swam more.

The next question is do I sign up for the Acworth 5K swim in July or just concentrate on my race distance and work on getting faster and stronger? It is a burr in my behind right now, which probably wont be fixed until I do this event again but doing the Acworth 5K would help ease the self loathing that comes with a DNF. It will take some extra juggling at work to make it happen but I will see if I can do it before I commit.  I know I did more than the people who failed to show up today but that really doesn't make me feel any better right now.